Radio Silence

I have been away from this blog for over two years, since January 2012. I wish I could tell you why. It is certainly not because I got life all figured out - landed the perfect job, became uber organized, or ran 12 marathons in 12 months. More likely it is because I felt like my whine (wine?) was getting old and repetitive. I guess I no longer thought I had anything to say. In a culture where everyone thinks everything they say should get so much attention (thank you twitter, instagram, etc), I just decided I should be quiet, keep it to myself. I don't know.

In the last several months my fingers have begun to twitch again and I feel the urge to write well up in me. So, here I am. I hope to begin to add to this blog, using my voice but not always using my life as the actual backdrop. More social commentary, more restaurant reviews, less poor me and my poor life. Everyone is going through something, after all, and who am I to say that my drama is more interesting than anyone else's?

But a quick update is probably useful. In the last two years I have (in chronological order): met the man of my dreams, got fired from my job, spent over a year unemployed, got engaged, got a job (though not one I love - more about that later), postponed my wedding, buried my father and, finally, got married to the man of my dreams. A blistering two years when you look at it like that. No wonder I didn't want to write anything.

So, with two difficult years behind me, I am back. And ready to write again. Maybe what I write will be good. Maybe it will be horrible. Maybe you will agree. Maybe you will disagree. I promise only one thing - that I will be authentically me. The voice you read on this blog will be authentically mine. And as with everything else in life - you can take it or leave it.

Talk soon.

Il Localino - the friendliest Italian joint in Atlanta

I started this blog by reviewing restaurants so it seems natural that I would re-start it by reviewing restaurants. I go out to eat a lot. Even more now than before. And I travel a decent amount for my job in corporate America, so I dine out everywhere. But the restaurant I'd like to review tonight is right here in my hometown of Atlanta.

Il Localino is a narrow store front in the no-mans land between the Virginia Highlands and Inman Park. The last time I dined there was probably 8 years ago the night before the Peachtree Road Race to "carb load." Eight years ago I thought it was a quaint hole in the wall with passable food, great ambience, great music and a friendly atmosphere.

Not much about my opinion has changed.

I planned to meet a former colleague of mine at Il Localino on a particularly rainy night in December. My colleague got there before me (I had to go home and tend to Wally, my dog,more on him later). While I was dealing with Wally, I got a text from my friend saying that he had gotten there early (like an hour early) but he was being well taken care of... OK, so now I'm hustling to head over to the restaurant.

When I get there, my friend is grinning like a cheshire cat. He leans over and tells me conspiratorially that they have already given him two beers and had him tast several items from the kitchen - lobster, shrimp, steak, cheese...

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Il Localino is a feast for the senses. It is everything an Italian restaurant should be - their walls are covered with photos of Madonna and Madonna (the virgin mother and the gay icon). Rosaries share space with photos of Michael Jackson and some 70's personalities. In short, there is a lot going on visually. The music is straight Sinatra.

When I first arrived (around 6:30) I was concerned because the place was mostly empty. I hate the idea that small locally owned places will be pushed out by the likes of Figo. But I needn't have worried, by the time we left (8'ish) the place was full.

Back to the food. It was OK.

But what sets this place apart is the service. The owner visited our table many times. He loves his patrons and, I believe, considers them family (at least that was how I felt). He came over, told us the story about how he came to own the place (apparently 20 years ago it was a dry cleaners and it took him some time to convince the dry cleaner he was in the wrong business), and then winked at me and told my friend that he understood why my friend had waited for me. Yes, I'm a sucker for a compliment.

On the way out, I was offered a rose which I kept in a vase for a week.

I will not wait 8 years to return to Il Localino. I love the restaurant and their love for their patrons.

Take care dear readers...

I'm baaaaaack!!!!!

Hello, dear readers! It has been a looooong time since I have visited this blog. I was motivated to re-visit it after a date (no surprise, your diva has not found "the one" yet) earlier this week. You see this particular date, R, has his own blog and has even self-published his own book (and R bears a jarring similarity to Alton Brown on whom I have always had a ridiculous crush). But enough about the date, partially because this story isn't about him and partially because the sneaky bastard found this blog.

Anyway, after revisiting and re-reading some of these entries I was struck by how much I have grown in the last 3 years. I am eternally glad that I took the time to learn about myself and this blog is a reflection of that. But I am not the woman I was three years ago. I am stronger, more independent, happier, more content, more successful - really I am just MORE me.

This isn't to say I don't have my struggles. I do. But now they are different, new, not the same old drama. But new, improved, drama. I look forward to sharing these brand new struggles with you.

Take care, dear readers. I promise not to be a stranger.

Love - Is it Dictated or Chosen?

Does it sing like the hymn of a thousand years,
Or is it just pop emotion? - Indigo Girls, Mystery

I have spent a lot of time in my blog pondering the nature of love. I am reading a new book - The Five Languages of Love - recommended by A. In this book the author, Dr. Gary Chapman, discusses the differences between "falling in love" - that euphoric early stage in a relationship and "love" - what comes after that.

He posits that "falling in love" is not a choice. That it is something that happens to you involuntarily. While I see his point, I don't know that he is 100% correct. I have fallen in love involuntarily - without trying or thinking. I have also been hurt immensely by doing this. I have suffered my greatest heartbreaks when I jumped in without thinking.

After so many heartbreaks, I am in a different place and disagree with Dr. Chapman when he states that "falling in love" generally occurs before being in "love." I agree with him that generally this is true. But, honestly, I am not sure that it will ever be true for me again. I am entirely too damaged and afraid to let my emotions run away with me ever again. I want nothing more than to skip the euphoria and go straight to the "love" part - the part where you CHOOSE to be in love with the other person. You choose to do things that make them happy, you choose to do supportive things for them, you choose to spend your time with them.

After reading the first half of the book, I realize that is what I am doing now. Choosing to fall in love (not there yet, folks, don't get crazy). Choosing to learn about and care about another person. I have my eyes wide open. I know his flaws - whether I have seen them firsthand or not - I know (or have a good idea) what they are. And I will continue to look for new ones to ensure that they are things I can live with. But something I have done is make a choice. I am choosing to make this work. I am not falling helplessly in love. I am choosing to care for this man - to whom I am attracted (and could do the euphoric fall in love thing if I were willing to let go). I think he is coming from the same place. I think this may be the reality of post-divorce/post-heartbreak relationships.

Anyway, just some musings on a Wednesday morning.

Take care, dear readers.

I have not been writing as much in my blog in the last three months or so. This is because - *gasp* - I'm happy!

I have re-engaged at work. Work has been a major issue for me in the past year and I've finally made a decision to stick with it for the next 13 months and during that time period to work on an exit strategy.

I have begun working out again and while I sometimes struggle with motivation (like today), I am really enjoying it. I am looking forward to my first sprint triathlon in August.

And best of all, I have a really amazing person in my life. And as scary as it is to start falling for someone - I am really enjoying it. When I am with Bob I don't think or worry about anything - I can let it all go and just enjoy our time together. That is something that I value more than you know - my mind is always whirring with thoughts - to be with someone who can help it be quiet is amazing. I was sitting on his couch last night, we were talking and I just looked at him and, I don't know, I was just so grateful and happy to be with him - right there at that moment.

So, for those of you who think after reading this blog that I am sad - I am not. I feel really great.

Take care, dear readers.

"The Miracle Isn't That I Finished, But That I Had The Courage To Start"

That is a well known quote from John "the Penguin" Bingham. If you are not familiar with him, he is a monthly contributor to Runners World Magazine that writes about running from the perspective of us mortal runners.



He uses this pharase to describe his running. But I think that it is a good phrase to describe almost anything.



For instance, I am starting to train for a "sprint" triathlon. This does not mean that I will sprint the whole thing - it is just the term for the shortest distance triathlon they have. In order to train for this, I am teaching myself how to swim. Yep, you read that right. Luckily, I have several friends who swim and have given me great advice (including Bob and Candace). I think the courage it takes to even approach this task is the true miracle.



I also think this phrase applies well to my personal life. As we get older and suffer heartbreaks it becomes more and more difficult to even contemplate entering a relationship, More and more difficult to imagine opening yourself up to another person. It isn't that the relationship survives that it is the miracle, I believe that the true miracle is finding the strength and desire inside you to open up to someone else.

I am experiencing that miracle right now. I am at the point where I want to open myself up to someone and make them a part of my life - and to become a part of theirs.

Take care, dear readers. I am enjoying my miracle.

Looking For the Dark Lining...

Or Waiting For the Other Shoe to Drop

It has finally happened. I have met someone. A real, live, charming, kind, funny, smart, witty, nice, passionate, compassionate, successful man.

We have been dating for just over a month and we spent the better part of last weekend together. I was convinced I'd get tired of him. I didn't. I was convinced he'd get tired of me. He didn't.

I am away on business this week which gives me ample time to think and sabotage this new relationship.

I caught myself this morning - searching for negatives - either in him or in how I feel about him. I am not dying here without him - not really missing him, though I do think it would be more fun if he were here. So I ask myself, if I'm not missing him I must not be that into him.

But my heart still jumps when I see a text from him. Or an email. And I still get nervous when I call him.

It has been so long since I've allowed myself to fall for someone I apparently don't know how to do it.

So I am talking myself off the ledge. Talking myself into looking at the positive and not freaking out if he checks the dating service still, or if it takes an hour to reply to an email. As a good friend told me - men do not do or say things just because - generally when they do or say them, they mean it. So if he is showing that he likes me (he is) then he does. And I need to let it go at that.

So, as Cowboy Mouth sang - let it go, let it go, let it go!

Take care, dear readers.