This evening I finished the book "On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone" by Florence Falk. It was an incredibly enlightening book that delved into why it is difficult and culturally unfavorable for a woman to be alone. It really opened my eyes about why the thought of being alone was difficult for me. It also made me realize that my story is not over. I will not be alone forever, unless I want to be. My job now is to listen to my inner voice and do the things that make me happy, irrespective of what the culture, my parents, my friends, or my lovers want or expect of me. I am solely responsible for my own happiness and if I don't get happy I have only myself to blame.
She included a list in her book of choices a woman alone might make and states that any one of the following choices might signify a movement toward actualizing her full potential. Here is the list:
to have a child without a partner
to not have children
to stop caring what other people think
to say no and mean it
to say yes and mean it
to buy a vibrator
to be celibate
to have six with whomever you shoose
to befriend aloneness
to stop abusing alcohol
to take scuba lessons
to leave a failed marriage
to enter a loving relationship
to befriend your body
to leave an abusive partner
to get a tattoo
to stop trying to do it all
to take charge of finances
to switch careers
to keep going after loss or failure
to go back to school
After reading this list I was surprised at the number of choices I have made that are bringing me closer to my full potential (and they didn't include getting a tattoo!). Just when I feel like I am stagnant in self development I realize that I have been unwittingly working toward my own self fulfillment this whole time.
Take care dear reader. I am going to spend some time befriending aloneness...
Monday, March 31, 2008
The Elephant In The Room
Here, dear readers, is the big one. The thing that makes me most ashamed. The issue I hide, refuse to discuss and avoid at all costs.
Alcohol.
I have an anxious mind. It is born of deep insecurity - the belief that I am not worthy of love and that any love I find would very easily be taken away or wooed by some other, more deserving, woman. It is the kind of mind that would have me obsessing prior to the play opening on Wednesday that on my way to my car from the show I would catch the kinda-ex boyfriend with some other girl in Midtown. Now, I have no reason to believe that I would catch him in that position. He has never given me any indication that there was anyone else. And I know, in the logical part of my mind, that another woman (or even the idea of other women) is not the cause of this break up. But my mind, the inner voice that has turned against me after years of being told no one else will love me, is not satisfied until it whips me into a self-loathing frenzy. I even considered leaving the play after Act I to see if it would be true. Yes, I know, ridiculous. (I didn't leave early for the record). It is this voice that told me that I didn't deserve more than the love I was getting in my marriage. That I didn't deserve a man who was giving with his love.
It is this voice that I strive to shut the fuck up.
For the past four years or so my drinking has increased. Not always - there are fits and spurts. But as a trend there has been an increase. I drank in my marriage to avoid facing the fact that it was not fulfilling. That I didn't love my husband as a life partner but as a friend (I'm sorry if you're reading this). I drank to make myself feel pretty. As my self-esteem sank lower and lower I drank to function in social situations. I didn't think I was interesting enough without alcohol. I quit drinking for 3 months at one point and I remember worrying that people wouldn't like me as much sober. My husband, bless him, tried to assure me he liked me better sober.
This all crystalized itself to me last week. Last week I vowed not to drink because the drinking itself was making me feel awful about myself and as you can see, dear reader, I do a pretty good job of that on my own. So, last week I sat with my thoughts, my doubts, my ravine of pain that I didn't think I could escape. Sober. And it hurt. I hurt more last week than I have ever hurt in my life. Every fear, every doubt, every hurt I have ever suffered resurfaced to say hi. But I faced all of them by myself. And, eventually, tentatively began to climb out of that ravine.
My friend came on Thursday and all that work was blown. She made me uncomfortable as I was just getting used to sitting with my pain and didn't want company. I drank to make the situation bearable. Not as much as usual, dear reader, but I did drink on Thursday and Friday at lunch (after I asked her to leave). I did not drink Friday night - I faced the chance of seeing the ex-boyfriend dead sober. (and yes, that was beyond difficult).
I am not saying that I will never drink again. Just that I'm going to try to listen to my own, inner voice (not the mean one), and determine whether I'm drinking to escape or for simple recreation.
So, dear reader, that is the big secret. I have to admit that I'm scared what some of you will think of me. But it's truth and I'm trying to deal in truth and not the evil fantasy world I've concocted to punish myself. (of course those of you that know me well have probably guessed this secret, but laying it bare myself is somehow different).
So, dear reader - take care of yourself. I'll be taking care of me.
Alcohol.
I have an anxious mind. It is born of deep insecurity - the belief that I am not worthy of love and that any love I find would very easily be taken away or wooed by some other, more deserving, woman. It is the kind of mind that would have me obsessing prior to the play opening on Wednesday that on my way to my car from the show I would catch the kinda-ex boyfriend with some other girl in Midtown. Now, I have no reason to believe that I would catch him in that position. He has never given me any indication that there was anyone else. And I know, in the logical part of my mind, that another woman (or even the idea of other women) is not the cause of this break up. But my mind, the inner voice that has turned against me after years of being told no one else will love me, is not satisfied until it whips me into a self-loathing frenzy. I even considered leaving the play after Act I to see if it would be true. Yes, I know, ridiculous. (I didn't leave early for the record). It is this voice that told me that I didn't deserve more than the love I was getting in my marriage. That I didn't deserve a man who was giving with his love.
It is this voice that I strive to shut the fuck up.
For the past four years or so my drinking has increased. Not always - there are fits and spurts. But as a trend there has been an increase. I drank in my marriage to avoid facing the fact that it was not fulfilling. That I didn't love my husband as a life partner but as a friend (I'm sorry if you're reading this). I drank to make myself feel pretty. As my self-esteem sank lower and lower I drank to function in social situations. I didn't think I was interesting enough without alcohol. I quit drinking for 3 months at one point and I remember worrying that people wouldn't like me as much sober. My husband, bless him, tried to assure me he liked me better sober.
This all crystalized itself to me last week. Last week I vowed not to drink because the drinking itself was making me feel awful about myself and as you can see, dear reader, I do a pretty good job of that on my own. So, last week I sat with my thoughts, my doubts, my ravine of pain that I didn't think I could escape. Sober. And it hurt. I hurt more last week than I have ever hurt in my life. Every fear, every doubt, every hurt I have ever suffered resurfaced to say hi. But I faced all of them by myself. And, eventually, tentatively began to climb out of that ravine.
My friend came on Thursday and all that work was blown. She made me uncomfortable as I was just getting used to sitting with my pain and didn't want company. I drank to make the situation bearable. Not as much as usual, dear reader, but I did drink on Thursday and Friday at lunch (after I asked her to leave). I did not drink Friday night - I faced the chance of seeing the ex-boyfriend dead sober. (and yes, that was beyond difficult).
I am not saying that I will never drink again. Just that I'm going to try to listen to my own, inner voice (not the mean one), and determine whether I'm drinking to escape or for simple recreation.
So, dear reader, that is the big secret. I have to admit that I'm scared what some of you will think of me. But it's truth and I'm trying to deal in truth and not the evil fantasy world I've concocted to punish myself. (of course those of you that know me well have probably guessed this secret, but laying it bare myself is somehow different).
So, dear reader - take care of yourself. I'll be taking care of me.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Company in my Alone-ness
Last night, after a long day of self-discovery and self-examination I called my friend G. to have dinner. That was a stroke of genius. G. was the perfect friend for the perfect time in my life. G. came to my apartment and we shared a glass of wine while I explained to him what I have been going through. He kind of chuckled and said, "then you think your car isn't good enough, so no one will love you because of that, and your clothes aren't good enough, etc., etc." I was glad that he chuckled and glad that he shared.
This morning I met with my friend C. and we watched the ING marathon and half marathon. Again, a perfect choice of someone to spend time with in my crisis. I explained my alone crisis to C. and she, too, smiled. She said there are times when she just crawls up in a ball on her bed and cries. But she also said that she is at peace with her alone-ness. That she didn't know how she would make time for a relationship anyway - she has chosen to invest her emotions in her friends and she has been successful in that and is reaping the benefits.
This has all been very comforting to me. I am not alone in my alone crisis. Everyone goes through this. Everyone has moments when they feel worthless, useless or hopeless. Everyone is their own harshest critic. Everyone is worried that they won't find someone to love them or someone they can love. Everyone gets through this - and I will, too. I have good friends, I have been lucky enough to fall in love and have people fall in love with me. I am successful in my career. I have a lot going for me.
As for today, I am feeling comforted by the fact that I am not truly alone.
Take care, dear reader.
This morning I met with my friend C. and we watched the ING marathon and half marathon. Again, a perfect choice of someone to spend time with in my crisis. I explained my alone crisis to C. and she, too, smiled. She said there are times when she just crawls up in a ball on her bed and cries. But she also said that she is at peace with her alone-ness. That she didn't know how she would make time for a relationship anyway - she has chosen to invest her emotions in her friends and she has been successful in that and is reaping the benefits.
This has all been very comforting to me. I am not alone in my alone crisis. Everyone goes through this. Everyone has moments when they feel worthless, useless or hopeless. Everyone is their own harshest critic. Everyone is worried that they won't find someone to love them or someone they can love. Everyone gets through this - and I will, too. I have good friends, I have been lucky enough to fall in love and have people fall in love with me. I am successful in my career. I have a lot going for me.
As for today, I am feeling comforted by the fact that I am not truly alone.
Take care, dear reader.
Good Job, Runners! Lookin' Good!
I just got back from cheering on my friends running the ING Half and Full Marathon here in Atlanta. I love watching the elite runners - they definitely have a talent that I do not have. They look so effortless when they are running.
I learned a couple things this morning. First, there is a value in supporting and encouraging others. I really enjoyed cheering on the runners - the ones I knew and the ones I didn't. It is nice to feel happy for other people without any invasion of feelings of jealousy.
Second, it is important to be appreciative of those who support and encourage you. I was surprised about the number of runners who thanked me for coming out and cheering for them. I got special appreciation from my two friends - one of whom, in mile 21, ran out of his way to smack my hand and thank me for being there. I got a thank you email from my other friend as soon as he finished. I think that is something I sometimes forget to do - be grateful to and show my appreciation for those who have stood by me and supported me through my good and bad times.
Finally, I learned that the weather in Atlanta in March is unpredictable. It was freezing this morning - I'm still thawing out!
'Til next time....
I learned a couple things this morning. First, there is a value in supporting and encouraging others. I really enjoyed cheering on the runners - the ones I knew and the ones I didn't. It is nice to feel happy for other people without any invasion of feelings of jealousy.
Second, it is important to be appreciative of those who support and encourage you. I was surprised about the number of runners who thanked me for coming out and cheering for them. I got special appreciation from my two friends - one of whom, in mile 21, ran out of his way to smack my hand and thank me for being there. I got a thank you email from my other friend as soon as he finished. I think that is something I sometimes forget to do - be grateful to and show my appreciation for those who have stood by me and supported me through my good and bad times.
Finally, I learned that the weather in Atlanta in March is unpredictable. It was freezing this morning - I'm still thawing out!
'Til next time....
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Working Through the Grammar of My Fears
I sent this link to a friend of mine the other day because he wanted to know what I thought of Avenue Q. He read the blog and said something surprising to me. He said that he now understands more about me as a person. That got me thinking that I am going to change the path of this blog slightly. Don't worry, I'll still review restaurants, bars, etc. but I am also going to use this as a place to work through, as the Indigo Girls say, the grammar of my fears.
What I haven't made clear in my blog is that I recently divorced my husband of two years. We had been together for 12 years total and while I still consider him a very good friend, I could not be married to him. For this reason I am now going through a series of 3 steps forward, 2 steps back growing moments. Sometimes they are unbearably painful. Sometimes it takes me days to figure out from where the pain is even emanating. I don't think I'm the only one who is undergoing this journey of discovery so it is my hope, dear readers, that by sharing my discoveries, setbacks and humorous anecdotes you will also undertake your own journey to the authentic you (unless you're already there in which case I could really use your help!).
You have seen mention in my blog of a boyfriend. That relationship, which has been really fantastic and fulfilling at times and incredibly lonely and alienating at others, is currently in jeopardy. This has caused me to face the reality of my alone-ness in the world. The possibility that all the bad things anyone has ever said to me are true (I'm unlovable, fat, ugly, lazy, lack discipline, etc.). It is a very dangerous thing when your inner voice turns against you. I have worked very hard in the last week to quiet that harmful voice and bring forward a voice that is more supportive. Sometimes that voice is hard to hear over the history of criticism, but I'm trying my hardest to listen. Listening to that negative voice has, at times, turned me into a person I don't recognize - needy, clinging, desperate for approval. The emotional equivalent of a size 0 teenager constantly asking her size 12 friends if she is fat. I've always hated that girl - now I've become her. So that give my inner voice even more ammunition. lol. Ahhh, the irony.
I'm combating that inner voice by being good to myself. And that does not mean lying in bed eating bon bons (though at times that seems like a damned good idea). That means keeping my body healthy, my mind active, and focusing and asking for what I need.
So, dear reader, that is where I'm at now. I welcome your comments, thoughts and suggestions.
And do stay tuned for restaurant reviews - restaurant hound won't stay down for long.
Take care of yourself.
What I haven't made clear in my blog is that I recently divorced my husband of two years. We had been together for 12 years total and while I still consider him a very good friend, I could not be married to him. For this reason I am now going through a series of 3 steps forward, 2 steps back growing moments. Sometimes they are unbearably painful. Sometimes it takes me days to figure out from where the pain is even emanating. I don't think I'm the only one who is undergoing this journey of discovery so it is my hope, dear readers, that by sharing my discoveries, setbacks and humorous anecdotes you will also undertake your own journey to the authentic you (unless you're already there in which case I could really use your help!).
You have seen mention in my blog of a boyfriend. That relationship, which has been really fantastic and fulfilling at times and incredibly lonely and alienating at others, is currently in jeopardy. This has caused me to face the reality of my alone-ness in the world. The possibility that all the bad things anyone has ever said to me are true (I'm unlovable, fat, ugly, lazy, lack discipline, etc.). It is a very dangerous thing when your inner voice turns against you. I have worked very hard in the last week to quiet that harmful voice and bring forward a voice that is more supportive. Sometimes that voice is hard to hear over the history of criticism, but I'm trying my hardest to listen. Listening to that negative voice has, at times, turned me into a person I don't recognize - needy, clinging, desperate for approval. The emotional equivalent of a size 0 teenager constantly asking her size 12 friends if she is fat. I've always hated that girl - now I've become her. So that give my inner voice even more ammunition. lol. Ahhh, the irony.
I'm combating that inner voice by being good to myself. And that does not mean lying in bed eating bon bons (though at times that seems like a damned good idea). That means keeping my body healthy, my mind active, and focusing and asking for what I need.
So, dear reader, that is where I'm at now. I welcome your comments, thoughts and suggestions.
And do stay tuned for restaurant reviews - restaurant hound won't stay down for long.
Take care of yourself.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Naughty, Naughty Puppets!
I am reading a book called "Woman Alone" - the book discusses why it is so difficult for women to face the world "alone." Inspired by the book, and the fact that I have season tickets to Theater of the Stars at the Fox, I went to see Avenue Q tonight.
I said that I have season tickets to Theater of the Stars yet this is the first show of the season I have attended. The other shows I have missed due to business travel or just a lack of motivation (was I bothered by going alone? that doesn't make sense since I used to go alone when I was married - but then it was a treat...). As I was walking to the theater I was thinking what a modern, independent woman I am to go to the theater alone. I didn't have to barter anything in exchange for a night to myself, I didn't have to drag a complaining man along with me (though I think men would like this show), and I didn't have someone at home waiting to complain about how late I got home or how much I drank (I actually didn't drink anything but that is not the point...).
So I got in and seated. I have great seats - AA13 - first row in the loge just to the right of the "patron" seats. You can get great seats if you go to the theater alone. Still feeling strong and independent I closed my eyes and enjoyed the calliope. Yes, calliope. I walked in to When You Wish Upon A Star - it was all very lovely. The Fox is a beautiful theater - I love the faux Moroccan skyline, the twilight of the ceiling. I looked around to enjoy the beauty that is the Fox and noticed that the entire place was full of couples. Men and women on dates, men and men on dates, women and women on dates. Since when did you have to be a part of a couple to go to the theater? My strong independence started to drain and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb - luckily that was when the curtain was falling - so I was saved.
I have always felt that most shows could stop at intermission and the audience would not have missed out on anything. This show is no exception.
The first act was perfection. The basic premise of the show is that an idealistic young graduate (Princeton) moves to Avenue Q, a run down neighborhood in New York City, and hilarity and love ensue. Gary Coleman (played by a woman with long hair - you have to suspend disbelief for this show as the people operating the puppets are standing there, too) is the superintendent of the building so that is good for some amusement.
The first act goes through songs like "everyone's a little bit racist." The fantastic song "the internet (is for porn)" where the young teacher sings what she would teach the children about the internet and the grumpy monster chimes in that it is for porn much to her dismay. It then moves to "I'm not wearing underwear today" - a song that is very close to my heart for reasons that those of you who know me well will understand.
At this point the young Princeton and Kate Monster hook up. And by hook up, I mean hot puppet on puppet sex set to the song "Be as Loud as you want when you make love" (or something like that). And this is not rated G puppet sex. This is full on frontal puppet nudity (no they aren't anatomically correct). The puppets depicted missionary, girl on top, sixty-nine and blow jobs. Hilarious. Hard to get over that one, quite honestly. I'll never look at puppets the same again.
The next song is "girlfriend in Canada" where the closeted gay puppet sings about his girlfriend in canada (another song that tickled me for reasons people who know me will get). He ends the song saying he can't wait to "lick her pussy again." !!!shock and horror!!! Great song.
They end the first act with a sappy love song as the boy meets girl, they fall in love, boy gets confused and has to go search for his purpose leaving the girl stranded and singing about broken hearts and wasting time.
At this point you know how the second half is going to go. Boy will make grand romantic gesture (raise money to build her monster school) and win back girl, closeted puppet will come out of the closet and all is well that ends well. Seriously, you might as well leave at intermission if you are the kind of person who doesn't need closure. Not to say there weren't good points - "For Now" the final song was great, though a little depressing at first.
Me, I had nothing better to do with my time, so I stayed. I give the first act an A+; I give the second act a B-. But that is not a knock on this show, I always think the second act is slow.
The audience gave the cast a standing ovation. I am more choosy with my standing ovations - I did not stand. Yes, I'm a bitch.
So, all in all, this was a good outing. I got to feel all Mary Tyler Moore single girl about town, saw a great first act of theater, and got to stretch my legs on the walk to and from my car (and I didn't get mugged).
If you get the chance to see Avenue Q - definitely go. Just leave at intermission.
I said that I have season tickets to Theater of the Stars yet this is the first show of the season I have attended. The other shows I have missed due to business travel or just a lack of motivation (was I bothered by going alone? that doesn't make sense since I used to go alone when I was married - but then it was a treat...). As I was walking to the theater I was thinking what a modern, independent woman I am to go to the theater alone. I didn't have to barter anything in exchange for a night to myself, I didn't have to drag a complaining man along with me (though I think men would like this show), and I didn't have someone at home waiting to complain about how late I got home or how much I drank (I actually didn't drink anything but that is not the point...).
So I got in and seated. I have great seats - AA13 - first row in the loge just to the right of the "patron" seats. You can get great seats if you go to the theater alone. Still feeling strong and independent I closed my eyes and enjoyed the calliope. Yes, calliope. I walked in to When You Wish Upon A Star - it was all very lovely. The Fox is a beautiful theater - I love the faux Moroccan skyline, the twilight of the ceiling. I looked around to enjoy the beauty that is the Fox and noticed that the entire place was full of couples. Men and women on dates, men and men on dates, women and women on dates. Since when did you have to be a part of a couple to go to the theater? My strong independence started to drain and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb - luckily that was when the curtain was falling - so I was saved.
I have always felt that most shows could stop at intermission and the audience would not have missed out on anything. This show is no exception.
The first act was perfection. The basic premise of the show is that an idealistic young graduate (Princeton) moves to Avenue Q, a run down neighborhood in New York City, and hilarity and love ensue. Gary Coleman (played by a woman with long hair - you have to suspend disbelief for this show as the people operating the puppets are standing there, too) is the superintendent of the building so that is good for some amusement.
The first act goes through songs like "everyone's a little bit racist." The fantastic song "the internet (is for porn)" where the young teacher sings what she would teach the children about the internet and the grumpy monster chimes in that it is for porn much to her dismay. It then moves to "I'm not wearing underwear today" - a song that is very close to my heart for reasons that those of you who know me well will understand.
At this point the young Princeton and Kate Monster hook up. And by hook up, I mean hot puppet on puppet sex set to the song "Be as Loud as you want when you make love" (or something like that). And this is not rated G puppet sex. This is full on frontal puppet nudity (no they aren't anatomically correct). The puppets depicted missionary, girl on top, sixty-nine and blow jobs. Hilarious. Hard to get over that one, quite honestly. I'll never look at puppets the same again.
The next song is "girlfriend in Canada" where the closeted gay puppet sings about his girlfriend in canada (another song that tickled me for reasons people who know me will get). He ends the song saying he can't wait to "lick her pussy again." !!!shock and horror!!! Great song.
They end the first act with a sappy love song as the boy meets girl, they fall in love, boy gets confused and has to go search for his purpose leaving the girl stranded and singing about broken hearts and wasting time.
At this point you know how the second half is going to go. Boy will make grand romantic gesture (raise money to build her monster school) and win back girl, closeted puppet will come out of the closet and all is well that ends well. Seriously, you might as well leave at intermission if you are the kind of person who doesn't need closure. Not to say there weren't good points - "For Now" the final song was great, though a little depressing at first.
Me, I had nothing better to do with my time, so I stayed. I give the first act an A+; I give the second act a B-. But that is not a knock on this show, I always think the second act is slow.
The audience gave the cast a standing ovation. I am more choosy with my standing ovations - I did not stand. Yes, I'm a bitch.
So, all in all, this was a good outing. I got to feel all Mary Tyler Moore single girl about town, saw a great first act of theater, and got to stretch my legs on the walk to and from my car (and I didn't get mugged).
If you get the chance to see Avenue Q - definitely go. Just leave at intermission.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Mothers are Funny
My mother came over to eat tonight and I cooked. I cooked for a couple different reasons: 1) we are both on diets (I know! sacrilege that restaurant hound has to go on a diet, but alas one can't live on bread pudding and champagne and expect to keep your girlish figure), and 2) I had just finished working out and didn't feel like getting all dolled up to go out. I was also having a pretty bad day which was the reason Mom came up in the first place.
There are few things restaurant hound hates more than the grocery store. It seems oxymoronic that I should hate the grocery store, with all its raw potential for yummy foods. The truth is I am probably the most impatient person on earth. I hate the lines. I hate that there is rarely a bagger available and I end up doing my own bagging. Yes, I am that high maintenance.
Anyway, because I hate the grocery store I did not have lots of food choices when I looked to make us dinner. We could have had Chef Boyardee ravioli (don't mock - I love that stuff - reminds me of being a kid!), or Chunky Chicken Noodle soup.
I looked in the freezer and I had chicken. So we had plain chicken and green beans. Yes, I'm a genius in the kitchen. I baked the chicken and sauteed the green beans (well, I used a sautee pan to heat them up - does that count as sauteeing???). I plate this masterful meal and my mom bites into the chicken and raves about how wonderful it is. "I can't make chicken this good."
You have to love mothers. I know I love mine.
There are few things restaurant hound hates more than the grocery store. It seems oxymoronic that I should hate the grocery store, with all its raw potential for yummy foods. The truth is I am probably the most impatient person on earth. I hate the lines. I hate that there is rarely a bagger available and I end up doing my own bagging. Yes, I am that high maintenance.
Anyway, because I hate the grocery store I did not have lots of food choices when I looked to make us dinner. We could have had Chef Boyardee ravioli (don't mock - I love that stuff - reminds me of being a kid!), or Chunky Chicken Noodle soup.
I looked in the freezer and I had chicken. So we had plain chicken and green beans. Yes, I'm a genius in the kitchen. I baked the chicken and sauteed the green beans (well, I used a sautee pan to heat them up - does that count as sauteeing???). I plate this masterful meal and my mom bites into the chicken and raves about how wonderful it is. "I can't make chicken this good."
You have to love mothers. I know I love mine.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Revenge of the Food (not disgusting, I swear)
I believe that food has decided this afternoon to take revenge on me. Perhaps it is because I passed up seconds at Easter dinner this afternoon of some of my very favorites: homemade macaroni and cheese, au gratin potatoes, ham, green beans, deviled eggs, and rolls. I love all that stuff desperately, but I just started a diet and after my very successful first week (nearly 10 pounds!!!) I didn't want to blow it.
Perhaps it is because I haven't been blogging enough lately.
But for whatever reason my food is trying to kill me.
I love lemons. And since there are few, if any, calories in lemons - they seemed like a perfect snack after my big dinner. I went to slice one open and took off a chunk of my left index finger. OK, not a chunk but enough for me to bleed profusely. I ran around my condo desperately looking for a band aid. None. I had to improvise with a kleenex and some scotch tape - just call me McGyver.
So, I'm not bleeding all over the place (this is extremely hard to type, though)and decide it is time to eat my lemons - first squeeze and I get the dreaded lemon juice in the eye. So now I'm down one finger and one eye.
What can possibly go wrong next????
Perhaps it is because I haven't been blogging enough lately.
But for whatever reason my food is trying to kill me.
I love lemons. And since there are few, if any, calories in lemons - they seemed like a perfect snack after my big dinner. I went to slice one open and took off a chunk of my left index finger. OK, not a chunk but enough for me to bleed profusely. I ran around my condo desperately looking for a band aid. None. I had to improvise with a kleenex and some scotch tape - just call me McGyver.
So, I'm not bleeding all over the place (this is extremely hard to type, though)and decide it is time to eat my lemons - first squeeze and I get the dreaded lemon juice in the eye. So now I'm down one finger and one eye.
What can possibly go wrong next????
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Restaurant Hound's Big Night Out
I mentioned that I stayed at the Intercontinental in Buckhead for Valentine's Day with my boyfriend. The evening before breakfast at The Corner Bakery we went to MF Buckhead.
I am not a huge sushi fan but he is, so we went to MF Buckhead for dinner. The place is beautiful. High ceilings, white walls, really beautiful. I especially liked how they lined up their two-tops. They lined them up diagonally so that I didn't feel like I was sitting with the couple next to me. I really appreciated that (and it is something that Sotto Sotto could learn, quite frankly). I'd love to tell you what we had to eat, but I let my boyfriend order.
They forgot one of the rolls we ordered and we later found out that they were out of it. The waiter was very, very gracious and brought me a free glass of champagne for the bother. And dear reader, you know how much I love champagne!
After dinner we went over to Lola - a bellini bar. It was quite the singles scene - I was very surprised. There was a guy there wearing a Mystery type jacket - I didn't think that people actually wore stuff like that! I kept wondering who/what he thought he was going to pick up looking like that!
Anyway, MF Buckhead was a wonderful dinner and Lola a great place for an after drink.
I am not a huge sushi fan but he is, so we went to MF Buckhead for dinner. The place is beautiful. High ceilings, white walls, really beautiful. I especially liked how they lined up their two-tops. They lined them up diagonally so that I didn't feel like I was sitting with the couple next to me. I really appreciated that (and it is something that Sotto Sotto could learn, quite frankly). I'd love to tell you what we had to eat, but I let my boyfriend order.
They forgot one of the rolls we ordered and we later found out that they were out of it. The waiter was very, very gracious and brought me a free glass of champagne for the bother. And dear reader, you know how much I love champagne!
After dinner we went over to Lola - a bellini bar. It was quite the singles scene - I was very surprised. There was a guy there wearing a Mystery type jacket - I didn't think that people actually wore stuff like that! I kept wondering who/what he thought he was going to pick up looking like that!
Anyway, MF Buckhead was a wonderful dinner and Lola a great place for an after drink.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Maggiano's it is not
Generally, I review dinner and lunch hot spots. I am not sure I have once reviewed a breakfast place. There is a simple reason for this - I don't like breakfast. I played Helen Keller in my high school production of "A Miracle Worker" and during the big fight scene, which happened over dinner, we substituted scrambled eggs. So, for several days in a row I had cold scrambled eggs smeared on my face and in my mouth. It was disgusting. 20 years later, I still hate breakfast.
In the same way I dislike breakfast, I dislike Maggiano's. I have already stated that I don't think Italian, Mexican and Southern food should be expensive. I view Maggiano's as too expensive for what you get - a tasteless lump of overcooked pasta and under-seasoned sauce.
So for the above two reasons, I had never been to the Corner Bakery at Maggiano's. My boyfriend and I splurged and spent an evening at the Intercontinental in Buckhead for Valentine's day and the morning after our big night on the town, we decided (well, he convinced me) to go to Corner Bakery for breakfast.
Corner Bakery had a nice atmosphere and an ample, but not over-choiced, breakfast selection. The counter help was very friendly - maybe too friendly for that time of day - and took our orders promptly. My boyfriend got some big hoo ha of a breakfast and I got a breakfast sandwich (I promptly took off the egg). The bread on the breakfast sandwich was very good - crunchy, crumbly - the way good bread should be.
All in all, as breakfast places go - I give it a thumbs up.
In the same way I dislike breakfast, I dislike Maggiano's. I have already stated that I don't think Italian, Mexican and Southern food should be expensive. I view Maggiano's as too expensive for what you get - a tasteless lump of overcooked pasta and under-seasoned sauce.
So for the above two reasons, I had never been to the Corner Bakery at Maggiano's. My boyfriend and I splurged and spent an evening at the Intercontinental in Buckhead for Valentine's day and the morning after our big night on the town, we decided (well, he convinced me) to go to Corner Bakery for breakfast.
Corner Bakery had a nice atmosphere and an ample, but not over-choiced, breakfast selection. The counter help was very friendly - maybe too friendly for that time of day - and took our orders promptly. My boyfriend got some big hoo ha of a breakfast and I got a breakfast sandwich (I promptly took off the egg). The bread on the breakfast sandwich was very good - crunchy, crumbly - the way good bread should be.
All in all, as breakfast places go - I give it a thumbs up.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I love my knock offs!
I have managed to visit several of what I call "knock off" restaurants in the last couple months. These are restaurants whose lesser known chefs once worked at some pretty well known places.
My first knock off restaurant was at El Dorado Kitchen in the square in Sonoma, California. The chefs at this restaurant trained at the world famous French Laundry so they knew what they were doing.
First, let me set the stage. If you have visited Napa and you are assuming Sonoma must be the same you are very wrong. Napa is City Mouse and Sonoma is Country Mouse. And Country Mouse, while perfectly civilized, is a little more rough around the edges than it first appears. The town square in Napa is great. Lots of boutique shops, restaurants, a great kitchen store and a silver jewelry store where I bought some charms and a ring - but I digress. What I most remember about the square was the Swiss Hotel. It can be described as not much more than a dive bar/hotel - and it was full of people drinking beer (beer in wine country!!!! say it isn't so!!!) and getting loud and rowdy. A fun crowd if I hadn't been wearing 3 inch heels...
We went in for our reservations at El Dorado Kitchen and I was struck immediately by its appearance. The staff and the restaurant present as "laid back country" while the clientele presents more upscale, even in jeans. My friend and I could not bear another glass of wine (after 3 full days of tasting even I got sick of it) so we each ordered a martini. The cocktails were very good, the service not so much. Oh well. We each got the chicken over gnocchi. I swear to God I could have died in the gnocchi. Really. And the chicken was fantastic. It had a crunchy shell but inside was so moist and it was not drowned in sauce or over seasoned. It was just right. And the gnocchi was amazing. Really. Amazing. Perfect consistency, amazing sauce. I'd consider flying back just for the gnocchi (my luck it was a special...).
The second of my two knock off restaurants is The National in Athens, GA. The chefs at The National tutored at Five and Ten, the Athens restaurant recently named the Best Restaurant in Atlanta (no, I can't figure that out either - perhaps Georgia's geography classes are worse than I thought). I love Athens, not just because I went to school there, but I love the laid back semi-uptight/semi-bohemian vibe they have going. Anyway, I was at The National. We started with bread and some of the most wonderful olive oil I have ever had. I asked my friend Dan if he thought it would be possible to live on bread and olive oil alone. He thought it might be possible, so we pondered that for a while.
I ordered chicken (again - what is up with me and the chicken?) and just like at El Dorado Kitchen it was perfect. Just perfect. Crunchy on the outside, moist on the inside - almost as good as I'd make at home (this is actually one dish I am very good at, believe it or not).
For dessert we had cheese. I love cheese. Maybe I could add that to the bread and olive oil diet...
My nightcap, however, was a huge mistake. Not because it wasn't good, but because it was a HUGE mistake. Dan and I walked up to East/West Bistro to meet our friends who were in town and I had one (several?) of their ridiculously yummy, rich and dangerously potent chocolate martinis. What is the saying? One martini, two martini, three martini, floor. Yeah, that was me.
So, my verdict on knock off restaurants - they are a definite do!
My first knock off restaurant was at El Dorado Kitchen in the square in Sonoma, California. The chefs at this restaurant trained at the world famous French Laundry so they knew what they were doing.
First, let me set the stage. If you have visited Napa and you are assuming Sonoma must be the same you are very wrong. Napa is City Mouse and Sonoma is Country Mouse. And Country Mouse, while perfectly civilized, is a little more rough around the edges than it first appears. The town square in Napa is great. Lots of boutique shops, restaurants, a great kitchen store and a silver jewelry store where I bought some charms and a ring - but I digress. What I most remember about the square was the Swiss Hotel. It can be described as not much more than a dive bar/hotel - and it was full of people drinking beer (beer in wine country!!!! say it isn't so!!!) and getting loud and rowdy. A fun crowd if I hadn't been wearing 3 inch heels...
We went in for our reservations at El Dorado Kitchen and I was struck immediately by its appearance. The staff and the restaurant present as "laid back country" while the clientele presents more upscale, even in jeans. My friend and I could not bear another glass of wine (after 3 full days of tasting even I got sick of it) so we each ordered a martini. The cocktails were very good, the service not so much. Oh well. We each got the chicken over gnocchi. I swear to God I could have died in the gnocchi. Really. And the chicken was fantastic. It had a crunchy shell but inside was so moist and it was not drowned in sauce or over seasoned. It was just right. And the gnocchi was amazing. Really. Amazing. Perfect consistency, amazing sauce. I'd consider flying back just for the gnocchi (my luck it was a special...).
The second of my two knock off restaurants is The National in Athens, GA. The chefs at The National tutored at Five and Ten, the Athens restaurant recently named the Best Restaurant in Atlanta (no, I can't figure that out either - perhaps Georgia's geography classes are worse than I thought). I love Athens, not just because I went to school there, but I love the laid back semi-uptight/semi-bohemian vibe they have going. Anyway, I was at The National. We started with bread and some of the most wonderful olive oil I have ever had. I asked my friend Dan if he thought it would be possible to live on bread and olive oil alone. He thought it might be possible, so we pondered that for a while.
I ordered chicken (again - what is up with me and the chicken?) and just like at El Dorado Kitchen it was perfect. Just perfect. Crunchy on the outside, moist on the inside - almost as good as I'd make at home (this is actually one dish I am very good at, believe it or not).
For dessert we had cheese. I love cheese. Maybe I could add that to the bread and olive oil diet...
My nightcap, however, was a huge mistake. Not because it wasn't good, but because it was a HUGE mistake. Dan and I walked up to East/West Bistro to meet our friends who were in town and I had one (several?) of their ridiculously yummy, rich and dangerously potent chocolate martinis. What is the saying? One martini, two martini, three martini, floor. Yeah, that was me.
So, my verdict on knock off restaurants - they are a definite do!
Where have you been?
I'm sure all 4 of my readers are wondering where I've been the last month (including my mother...). Well, I've been, um, busy. I moved from the basement of my friend's house (how glamorous is the world of divorce) to my condo in the Virginia Highlands. The legislative session started so my actual job is keeping me busy and I took a vacation. Yes, a real live, week long vacation.
But this doesn't mean I have stopped eating or going out - au contraire!
Now that I have more time on my hands I can go back and review the restaurants from the last couple months. Some highlights:
MF Buckhead
The National (Athens, GA)
Celadon (Napa, CA)
El Dorado Kitchen (Sonoma, CA)
and multiple wineries in Napa/Sonoma
So, keep your eyes open and re-bookmark this darned blog. Heck, I may even add some pictures!!!
But this doesn't mean I have stopped eating or going out - au contraire!
Now that I have more time on my hands I can go back and review the restaurants from the last couple months. Some highlights:
MF Buckhead
The National (Athens, GA)
Celadon (Napa, CA)
El Dorado Kitchen (Sonoma, CA)
and multiple wineries in Napa/Sonoma
So, keep your eyes open and re-bookmark this darned blog. Heck, I may even add some pictures!!!
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