Giddiness and the B Side

Several weeks ago I wrote a post about how I thought my heart was opening up. That I might be ready to really tiptoe into a relationship again.

I do not know why I was so certain that was the truth. But I believed it then and things have happened lately that make me think it might be true.

This week I had two second dates (remarkable for a one and out like me...). One is 39, in supply side consulting. The other is 34, owns his own business and plays semi-pro poker.

I like them both a great deal.

But I am REALLY into the poker player. We had our second date Thursday night and I have been giddy ever since. He sent me a text the next day saying how much fun he had and how he was looking forward to seeing me again (a third date????). I enjoy feeling like this - looking forward to a text or a phone call. It is fun to feel this way again.

And it is scary. That is the B side of giddy. I asked him yesterday when he'd get to see me again - and I haven't heard from him since. So, I get to go through this litany of things - wondering if I pushed too hard (how is that possible when I have sent exactly one text in the last 24 hours), if he found someone better, etc.

I am laughing at myself and how ridiculous this sounds. I have had a whopping two dates with this man. If he is more into someone else that is perfectly okay.

But knowing this doesn't keep me from looking at my phone every 15 minutes or so - did he call? did he text?

So I am sitting home alone tonight wishing he was here. Of course, I could have asked him out myself... But that would be way to straightforward - why do that when you can be passive aggressive. (sarcasm, folks...).

So I am laughing, I am giddy, I am nervous, I am scared.

But most of all I am glad that I'm finally in this place.

Take care, dear readers.