What I've Learned....

For those of you familiar with Atlanta sports radio, a talk show host named Steak Shapiro has a bit he does where he talks about what he has learrrrrrrned. So here is my version of that.

I have learned several things this week.

First, dating sucks. When I was married it looked fantastically glamorous and interesting - a parade of sexy, amusing, interested people to spend time with. Well, it is no where near that. It is a parade of fucked up people that you wouldn't ordinarily spend any time with at all but for the fact that you would like to date someone. I joined a dating web site and it is hard.

Second, if you must date follow some simple rules. First, the initial date should be no longer than 2 hours. Second, no first dates on the weekend nights. You will just feel like you wasted an evening that would have been better spent with friends. Third, if a man does not have a picture of him smiling on a website his teeth are jacked up. And fourth, dating less than a week after having your heart broken is probably not a good idea.

I went on a first date tonight. I knew it was wrong before I met him. He was driving a passat station wagon. What 37 year old single man without kids chooses to drive a station wagon? But I said to myself - are you the kind of girl who will turn her nose up at a perfectly decent man because he drives a station wagon? I refused to believe that I was and bucked myself up for the date. It was awful. He was OK but reminded me of my best friend in high school - decidedly unsexy. I abruptly said I wanted to leave at halftime of the game. He wanted to know if he did anything wrong - I answered honestly - he didn't. But he will never see or hear from me again.

I am not in the right place to date. I could meet someone now that would otherwise be fantastic and I would do nothing but compare them to S., or J. for that matter.

I am sure you are saying - "duh! we all knew you weren't ready." But keep in mind that I have had a man in my life as best friend/partner for the last 13 years and not having one is a bit of an adjustment.

My friend G's words constantly ring in my head - it is very rare that you find a mind/body connection with someone. I have had that twice and it has left me twice. I yearn to find it again.

So this is where I'm at. Lonely and hurt and sad. But I know what makes me happy - my friends. I will stick with them.

Take care, dear readers.