Push, push, push.
I am impatient and impulsive. Not the worlds best combination. I want what I want and I want it NOW, if not yesterday.
Apply this to dating and you have a royal mess. A girl looking desperately for a relationship (that quite honestly she does not need right now) and buzzing through men like toilet paper looking for the right fit. I push. I push. I push. Because I'm impulsive if that person doesn't fit immediately, I blow right through to the next person.
This is making the search feel hopeless and running into J with his new girlfriend yesterday didn't help any. Why can he find a relationship and I can't? How come he can move on? Not to mention the fact that I could tell that he hasn't changed at all. All the things that made me crazy about him, they were all still there. H walked 6 feet in front of her, running from chili stand to chili stand - barely looking back to make sure she was there. That always made me feel like shit. like a second class citizen.
But I digress.
Love is organic. It cannot be forced. You will not find it when you are looking for it.
So, I'm backing off. Officially today. I am again done looking for dates. That does not mean I am done dating. I am done searching.
I am going to sit back and let my life happen organically.
Take care, dear readers.
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2 comments:
So, I know that - as the saying goes - you won't find love if you're looking for it. But I feel like it's not going to come knocking on my door, either. So I'm stuck feeling like I need to be searching, but getting frustrated because the searching isn't ending up with my finding anything. Ugh.
I don't disagree with you. I'd be fine on those sites if I wasn't so willing to throw people away so quickly if they don't fit just perfectly my idea of what I want. And the bottom line might be that either a) I don't want anything right now or b) I have no clue what I want. I try to push too much instead of letting things develop more naturally.
You, on the other hand, don't seem to have that particular problem. Lucky you!
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