Setbacks

Progress does not occur in a straight line. Sometimes it is a very three steps forward, two steps back kind of process.

This weekend I got sick. Flat on my back, not in the mood to do much of anything but sit on my butt, kind of sick. I had just finished a very good week in terms of all of my goals. I was eating well, not drinking, working out like a fiend. I saw the results in the numbers on the scale and in compliments from the sorta/kinda ex (not sure what to call him at this point). Then I got sick.

And, dear readers, sick and working out like a fiend do not work well together. I did go to the gym on Friday morning and worked out harder and longer than I should have - this may have contributed to getting sick. Also, sick and eating well don't necessarily work together. I wasn't a total jabba the hut but I was not as strict as I might have been diet-wise.

So, these are my setbacks. These setbacks showed themselves mainly in the numbers on the scale. The sorta/kinda ex was also not as full of compliments as he had been just days before (admittedly there are a number of reasons this might be that have nothing to do with any visible setback - but the mean inner voice can be a powerful thing). The scale said I gained 7+ pounds in 4 days. That is impossible. My rational mind says that is not right - but the scale says it is - so it must be so. My clothes don't fit 7 pounds heavier, but the scale says it is so. So it must be so. This set back has given my defeatist inner voice some strength - "see you can't do it", "you'll never be thin again, why bother", "you have no discipline", etc.

I have decided that it is what you do in these set back moments that define who you are as a person. Everyone can be happy and self-confident in moments of progress. It takes a powerful inner reserve to move yourself forward after a set-back. To not give in you have to dig deep and quiet that annoying voice (and it is sooooo annoying). You have to pick yourself up, stop the downhill slide and move forward on the path that was making you happy (and, consequently, getting you closer to your goals). So, this morning, I ate my protein bar for breakfast and packed my bag for my date with Pete. I may not be as energetic in class as I was last week, but I will be at spin class. And I will have salad for lunch. And I will move myself forward the best that I can.

So, dear readers, today I will struggle with that annoying voice and work hard to move myself forward and to not let a couple days of setback define my progress as a person.

Take care of yourself, I'll be taking care of me.