Sometimes I feel like I am going around in circles. Ending up in the same place every time. I think I'm making strides. I'm trying to move forward. I feel good.
Then I look around and I'm back where I started.
Hurt, skittish, lonely, beating up on myself for letting S slip back into my consciousness, for missing J, for hurting some other innocent person.
Big Ben, Parliament.
I'll get throught this, just like I've gotten through everything else.
And I'll get through it and end up back here again.
Big Ben, Parliament.
But every time I end up back in this sad place it will be a shorter and shorter visit. Until hopefully I never come back here again. This is the truism I'm holding on to - tightly.
What I want most now is closure with S. I won't get it. I have learned I rarely get everything I want.
Take care, dear readers, I'm going to try to break the cycle.
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