Fear of Failure

Before recently I did not understand the saying "what would you do if you didn't know you could fail."

Now I get it.

I feel paralyzed by my fear of failure at times. I set my sights on running the half-marathon. I have done half-marathons before, however I had J the uber coach helping me. This time I am doing it alone and all I hear in my ear is that I will fail.

What does "fail" even mean in this context? That I won't finish? That I won't run the whole thing? That I won't get a certain time?

And what if I do fail? What does that mean to me as a person? Does it mean I am not worthy of love and affection? Does it mean that I am worthless? That I will be alone and lonely for the rest of my life?

Of course, this is what I think. That if I fail, I am worthless and unworthy of love or affection. So instead of trying, I quit. Quitting is easier than failing.

But this does not help me grow as a person. My fear, wrought from my need for approval from my father, has crippled my growth.

And this is so stupid. Because if I fail no one will think any less of me. No one will withdraw their love or affection. I will just have to try harder next time.

As Dr. O said - Ihave got to shift this paradigm. And in a hurry.

Take care, dear readers, I'm trying to conquer this fear.