Landing Hard

My last blog reported that I was ready to jump off the cliff. I jumped.

And landed. Hard.

I am still sorting through my weekend. How I feel, why I acted like I did. Where to go next.

It is inevitable - fantasy is always better than reality. That is not a criticism of this guy. It is just a truism. In a fantasy - things are not just perfect but perfect in just the way you want them to be. One person's perfect is different from another's.

Also, two full days with another person is a little much for a first date. I enjoy my alone time. I crave it and need it. Otherwise I get grumpy.

I didn't get any alone time. I got grumpy.

Again, not blaming anyone. This is my problem - this is something I need to learn to speak up about before I explode.

I didn't do this. And this need for aloneness and the new guys incredible snoring was a one-two punch that I couldn't get through. Around midnight last night I asked him to leave the room (basically go home) so that I could sleep. I told him that I would end up hating him by the morning. And that is true. I would have. Snoring makes me CRAZY. My father snored like a chainsaw and some of my most aggravating childhood memories are me trying to sleep in the same hotel room with my father. Made me crazy. So, this all kinda came back to me and I needed him out of my room.

Yes, dear readers, another poor man left in my wake. I am sure you are starting to feel sorry for them - I know that I am. They have done nothing wrong but start to like me.

This guy likes me too much. Needs too much.

I can't fulfill anyone else's needs right now. I'm still wrapped up in my own.

Again with the I shouldn't be dating thing...

Take care, dear readers. I'm sorting it through.